Well I had sex last night. Met someone online and we hooked up in some motel. The sex was fast and rough and had me gasping for breath. Three times.
Never done that before. Made me feel kinda empty inside.
Empty and incomplete.
Just proves to me that mindless sex isn’t really what I want. I want someone to hold and love and cherish.
Call me old fashioned but that’s what I want.
It’s so lonely being single. I should know because I’ve been single since birth. I don’t think it’s because I’m unactractive standoffish or I smell bad. I think it’s because people think I’m straight. I’m afraid to go out of the closet as of the moment. i will eventually, just not now.
Whenever I see happy couples, especially gay ones, i get this pain in my chest that makes me feel fit to burst. Then afterwards there is the lingering dull ache that leaves me feeling like what the hell is wrong with me and am I that unlovable?
I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. Losing weight, while I’ve lost 6 inches off my waist so far, doesn’t even excite me. The only thing that I am constantly thinking of right now is that I need a boyfriend and soon.
